Nigerian men are rewriting the script of fatherhood. But the system around them wasn’t built for it.
Nigerian fathers today want to be there from the first scan to the first steps.
We tested message framing on shared caregiving to see resonance and adoption.
“Society must stop expecting women to do all the unpaid care work.”
“Shared caregiving creates a more balanced, peaceful, and prosperous household.”
Demanding that men “dismantle the patriarchy” or tackle “unpaid care work” triggered massive defensiveness.
Reframing shared caregiving around “collective family gain” yields nearly five times higher persuasiveness than ideological demands.
“Society must stop expecting women to do all the unpaid care work.”
“Shared caregiving creates a more balanced, peaceful, and prosperous household.”
The phrase "unpaid care work" triggered the highest defensiveness. Reframing the concept as "peace and prosperity" neutralized the threat and secured male agreement.
“Paternity leave gives men a chance to split the responsibility of childcare.”
“Paternity leave gives fathers essential time to bond with their new children.”
Transactional language ("split the responsibility") feels like an administrative chore. Relational language ("essential time to bond") appeals directly to the modern father's desire for emotional presence.
“When men share caregiving duties, they break down outdated gender norms.”
“When men share caregiving duties, families are stronger and children thrive.”
Men perceive "outdated gender norms" as an attack on their cultural heritage, but unanimously agree that their ultimate goal is ensuring "children thrive."
“Caregiving roles empower wives' independence.”
“Caregiving roles build an unbreakable partnership at home.”
Avoids zero-sum independence dynamics, framing shared care as joint resilience and mutual teamwork.
“Paternity leave dismantles the motherhood penalty at work.”
“Paternity leave normalizes family time, making the workplace better for everyone.”
Replaces gender competition with universal employee well-being, driving corporate acceptability.
“My role was to ensure that yes, I keep my family comfortable, going out to look for daily bread.”
“The first experience was very overwhelming…. The sleep adjustments; sometimes you could see that your wife is fatigued because maybe she did not sleep overnight attending to the baby.”
“So paternity leave is very good. If I have the opportunity of taking it, why not? Even if it’s for a month, it’s not too much; I would take it and say thank you.”
Beyond message framing, shared caregiving demands time.
It creates time constraints, especially for dual-income households. This is often managed by outsourcing domestic chores.
“We try to outsource whatever needs to be outsourced. We don’t need to be the ones doing it outright… we’ve outsourced pretty much all our domestic chores, so we don’t do house chores.”
But not every family can afford to buy back that time, especially low-income households.
“Anytime I’m not able to do that [provide], I’m uncomfortable, I don’t even want to be around anybody… early in the morning either I pretend I’m still sleeping when they go out or I go out early.”
80% of Nigerians in the informal workforce face direct financial penalties when taking time off to care for children.
The private sector lacks uniform protections. Private sector workers rely on employer flexibility.
Public sector employees receive 14 days of paid paternity leave.
1 of 3 recommendations
Shift public advocacy away from polarizing terms such as “dismantling the patriarchy,” and focus entirely on child developmental outcomes, household peace, and shared economic resilience.
Expand paid paternity leave beyond the 14-day public benchmark to the private sector, and establish community childcare for informal workers.
Form alliances with religious and traditional gatekeepers to preach sermon centered on mutual submission, financial transparency, and sacrificial, tenderhearted marital partnership.
We interviewed 17 Nigerians through interviews, focus group discussions, street-style interviews and message testing. The goal was to understand how Nigerian men navigate caregiving, employment and marital partnership.
Embraces gender equality, but outsources routine tasks.
Experiences shame and emotional withdrawal with financial instability.
Anchors his identity strictly to financial provision, viewing domestic participation as an occasional gesture.
Uses faith to re-examine traditional norms and authority-based leadership.
Operates with no workplace protections, and childcare time impacts earnings.